The Keys to Lasting Change,
The Covey Seven Habits

One of my most influential books is the Covey Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It provides you with a framework to live your life effectively in the midst of change. These principles have been applied with much success in business, schools and family life.

Unlike most strategies, it doesn't make any claims that it's easy or fast. It takes an character based approach opposed to a quick fix. There are 7 habits that guides you through 3 stages of maturity, which will be covered below. So without further ado, here's the high level overview.

INSIDE OUT APPROACH

The first principle Covey talks about is making change from the inside out. This means that real change starts from within you, not from your outward actions or behavior. The thing is, our beliefs have been conditioned from our parents, friends, TV, and schools. However, some of them may not be properly aligned with the "real world".

Here's a great map analogy based on the Covey Seven Habits beliefs. Let's say you're in New York and you're trying to get to downtown Boston with an incorrect map. In that situation, even your excellent navigation and reading skills won't help you get to your destination. In addition, neither will changing your attitude to be positive work any better. You may 'feel' more motivated, but that won't help.

The solution, you need a correct map (your beliefs) that represents the real world. In other words, if you are not getting the results you want, there's a good chance your paradigm or beliefs are not in line with reality.

That's what's meant by taking the inside-out approach. If you don't have your beliefs or paradigms properly aligned with reality, your outward behavior will not give you the results you want. Once you realize where you got your beliefs from, you are able to properly assess and make smarter choices. In other words, your perception determines the choices you make.

FROM DEPENDENCE, INDEPENDENCE TO INTERDEPENDENCE

The next principle within the Covey Seven Habits are the 3 phases of maturity:

• Dependence - The paradigm that you rely on others, like a baby relying n parents.
• Independence - The paradigm that you make your own decisions and take care of yourself.
• Interdependence - The paradigm that cooperation allows you achieve with others.

If you think about it, most of our culture is focused on being independent: get a job, get your own place, etc. You hardly ever hear much about achieving more with other people, however becoming independent is a necessary step to becoming interdependent. It means you're able to work with people to achieve results you couldn't do on your own.

Also, the path from Dependence to Independence are considered Private Victories. They are habits 1-3 (described below) that allow you to achieve personal Independence.

Moving along to Independence to Interdependence, they are considered Public Victories. These are the habits 4-6 that allow you to work well with others. The 7th habit is encompasses the entire first 6 habits.

COVEY SEVEN HABITS OVERVIEW

Private Victories

Habit 1: Be Proactive

True, lasting change starts with taking full responsibility for yourself. You have the capacity to respond to change and choose not to blame things on your upbringing, genetics, or your environment for your actions.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Life is full of distractions, so you need to be clear on what you want the end result will be. Covey uses a personal mission statement to remind you what's important in the big picture of your life. Instead of getting caught up with day-to-day chaos, this allows you to step back and guide you what you on the choices you make.

After all, if you don't figure out what you value most, someone else will do it for you. (in the form of advertising, peer pressure, societal norms, etc)

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Spend time doing things that are most important to you within your mission. You set important goals to help keep your focus on doing what matters most to you.

According to the Covey Seven Habits, you should identify your key roles for the week (father, sibling, friend, employee, student, etc). Then identify your key tasks for that role. This helps maintain balance in your life.

Public Victories

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

With so many things constantly changing, it can be difficult to keep up with everything yourself. So, the first step is to build mutually beneficial relationships by using "win/win" agreements or "no deal". This is the first step in building trust with others.

Within an organization, it may be more difficult since it can be competitive. Seek out ways to reward winners and create a non-competitive internal culture. For instance, for the sales department instead of having the 'winner take all' create a team goal and a reward that will benefit everybody.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

It's very easy to have misunderstandings in a face-paced world. So, taking the time to understand the other person first and then try to be understood will result in less misunderstandings. According to the Covey Seven Habits, this is one of the most important habit when dealing with other people.

Active listening doesn't mean just being able to recite the words, but rather listening for both the meaning and their feelings. You listen with your heart and try to take the other person's perspective.

Habit 6: Synergize

When a relationships gain trust, you are able to build upon that. At this point, you are able to value people's differences and turn them into unique strengths. Through understanding, you are able to solve problems you were not able to solve on your own. The analogy used is 1+1 = 11, not 2; the sum is greater than the parts.

Renewal

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

This habit simply means to take the time to renew and refresh your life. The covey seven habits names four dimensions for renewal: physical, mental, social/emotional and spiritual. Be sure to renew yourself in all four areas of your life.

So that's the overview of the Covey Seven Habits. It's a character based approach to change, and guides you through 3 stages of maturity. The 7 habits take in mind that you need build solid personal skills and build on interpersonal skills. The underlying premise is that life is a journey, not a destination.

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